Jose Mourinho says it's the players. Ronald Koeman says it's the defence. Charlotte Church says it's climate change. Whatever the reason behind Chelsea's underwhelming start to the season, there is one thing everybody can agree on: they need to stem the tide. And fast. Remember that corner? The one Chelsea apparently turned after beating Maccabi Tel Aviv, Walsall and nine-man Arsenal? Well, they're still knee-deep in a crisis as it turns out; up a very well-known creek without a paddle and it's dangerously close to sink or swim time for Mr Mourinho.
The champs have been shocking. They've been as shocking as Marv in Home Alone 2. They've been as shocking as John Coffey's final moments. Mourinho and co come into this one on the back of a 2-1 Champions League defeat at Porto - their fourth of the season already! Oh, and they drew 2-2 at Newcastle last week. NEWCASTLE! They did, to their credit, come back from two goals down, but they also conceded twice in the first place. Yep, they've been about as toothless as a Jeremy Kyle guest and, worryingly, Southampton have the potential to pile more misery on them.
Okay so Koeman's men haven't exactly set the league alight so far. They've got nine points from a possible 21 - one more than Chelsea, by the way - but they did hold the Blues to draws home and away last term. And that was when Mourinho's men were brilliant! Nothing is straight forward with Chelsea any more. Ask them for a glass of water and they'll come back with a cup full of ice.
There's FOUR changes for Chelsea from the 2-2 draw with Newcastle last time out. No messing about from Jose. Loic Remy makes way for Radamel Falcao, who earns his first Premier League start for the Blues I think. Out wide, Pedro drops to the bench for Willian, with Ramires - who scored at St James's Park - coming into the midfield to replace Nemanja Matic. At the back, captain John Terry returns for Kurt Zouma, who made a mistake last week.
One change to tell you about for the Saints, and it's a significant one (kinda) as Oriol Romeu returns to Chelsea as an opposition player. The Spanish midfielder displaces James Ward-Prowse and, presumably, he'll sit beside Victor Wanyama in front of the visitors' defence. Graziano Pelle spearheads the attack as per usual.
He's loving life isn't he, Willian. He just wants to go home, listen to a bit of Leonard Cohen and watch the last 15 minutes of Titanic over and over again.
So, Chelsea huh? Yep, this won't make for nice reading so Chelsea fans can look away.....now. They've only won twice - away to West Brom and home to nine-man Arsenal. They only beat the Gunners 2-0 which, considering their huge advantage, should have told us that the champions hadn't really got their groove back, as had been suggested.
But there's also been a few defeats, sadly for them. They've lost to Manchester City in a 3-0 defeat, which wouldn't have done much good for their confidence. They then lost to Crystal Palace at Stamford Bridge, which was even worse for their confidence, before losing 3-1 at Everton after the international break. Will the real Chelsea stand up today? We'll wait and see.
On to the Saints now and they haven't been exactly ripping up the division either. Like Chelsea, they've only won two games so far - both at home. They've lost twice too - both also at home - after Everton and Manchester United turned them over. These boys are about as unpredictable as Irish weather so, you know, anything could happen tonight. Personally, I've got no idea what result we're looking at. But let's try tease out a prediction.
PREDICTION! As noted above, this one isn't easy to call. Don't believe me? We rang up Mystic Meg for a prediction and she said: "Too close to call. Leave me out of it." We also contacted a descendent of Nostradamus, who was unavailable to speak. So, we're on our own basically. I'm going for a 2-1 Chelsea win. I think it'll be close, but Falcao will nick one in the last, say, 10 minutes. Complete guess. As we said, this one is impossible to predict.
That's enough of the predictions. It's getting serious now. Four minutes to go. Will Chelsea get a much-needed win, or will Southampton push Mourinho further up that well-known creek we mentioned earlier? Time will tell, my friends.
Oriol Romeu goes sliding into Willian early on; just letting him know that he's there, as they say. He'll be keen to do well this evening on his return to Stamford Bridge.
Southampton haven't got a touch in Chelsea's half yet I don't think. They might get one now - they've got a free kick, and they did get a touch, but Davis passes it straight out for throw in.
The corner comes to nothing as Begovic collects Tadic's poor delivery. We said this was too tight to predict and, well, it looks that way so far. Only eight minutes deep, mind.
BOOKING: Early booking for Romeu as Hazard glides past him with ease. That was silly. It puts him on a disciplinary tightrope for the next, hmm, 80 minutes!
We said that Willian looked a little depressed prior to kickoff, but he has a great big smile on his face now as he whips a truly brilliant free kick past Stekelenburg. Take a bow pal. It was an outrageous angle, one that certainly favoured a cross, but Brazilian found the top corner via the post. Brilliant.
Southampton respond well, whipping a couple of free kicks into the box but Begovic comes out to claim both. Good goalkeeping. Still, Southampton have done enough in this game so far to suggest that it's far from over.
CHANCE! Has to be considered a chance. Steven Davis is through on goal but the angle is against him and he thrashes well wide of the near post. Still, failing to hit the target is criminal.
Ugh, very poor from Mane, who tries to lob Begovic from about 40 yards and the ball bounces into the keeper's arms, which should illustrate how poor an effort it was. Still, Saints haven't been bad.
Excellent interception from Fonte as Hazard does excellently to lay the ball off to Falcao on the edge of the box, but the big Portuguese defender cuts it out just in time.
Southampton fans in good voice as 'when the Saints' go marching in echoes around the Bridge. The visiting fans won't be too disappointed by the scoreline. Their team has done enough to suggest that they can score goals this evening.
Chelsea back on top now after a brief, very brief, spell of Southampton pressure. With this Chelsea side, though, you feel they need a second and third goal before the game is safe. They're that unpredictable.
PENALTY APPEAL!Sadio Mane goes down under a challenge from Ramires and Chelsea, for the second time in this match, are quite lucky to avoid conceding a penalty.
Nine minutes from the break and Southampton can count themselves slightly unlucky to be trailing I think. Chelsea's goal was a moment of magic from Willian but Virgil van Dijk and Sadio Mane had two solid penalty appeals turned down by Bobby Madely.
Good work by Cahill as he does brilliantly to clear for a corner as Mane looked poised to tap home. Southampton have been the better team. There's no two ways about it.
CHANCE! Brilliant ball from Mane who finds Ryan Bertrand, but the ex-Chelsea man, with just Begovic to beat, fails as the Chelsea stopper comes out on top. Huge let off for Chelsea.
Take a bow Mr Davis and it's been coming, folks. Southampton been much the better side in this half. It's a superb chest from Pelle as the Italian tees up Davis, who strikes a fantastic first-time volley past Begovic from outside the box. Take a bow. Nothing less than what they deserve in truth.
Wow. We didn't expect that come when it did, but Southampton deservedly equalised on the stroke of half time when Steven Davis's fine volley cancelled out Willian's equally-fine opener. Chelsea remain out of sorts. Make no bones about it. The Saints have bossed the champions for much of the first half. What a second half we have in store.
KICKOFF: We're back! What would Mourinho have said to Chelsea at half time? He's the self-styled special one and he would've needed some special words to motivate Chelsea again.
CHANCES! Oh my word. Southampton firmly on top in this half. First, Mane is denied by Begovic, who has been excellent, before the Senegalese looked certain to tap home but Terry got himself in the way. Ivanovic is having a nightmare. Absolute nightmare.
I've been hugely impressed by Southampton. They've been superb at both ends and, as it stands, they deserve to win this - and they just might. Chelsea all at sea, but they have a corner now.
BOOKING: Big moment here as Falcao goes into the book for diving! He looks to be taken down by Stekelenburg, but the referee obviously feels that he was heading down already. I also think he was right. It was so close but I think Madley got it right.
We said the second half would be a cracker and it's certainly shaping up to be that way. Pelle plays in Mane after some shocking defending from Cahill, and the Senegalese turns Terry like he's not there before slotting past Begovic. Wow.
What's that noise? It sounds a little like an axe being dusted off. It's 3-1! Mane leads a counter-attack before squaring to Pelle, who drills past Begovic from an angle. Top class finish.
CHANCE! Mane is absolutely phenomenal today as he turns Cahill so easily, before pulling back for Tadic, who should have scored but Terry blocks from inside the box.
Ten minutes to go. Can Chelsea turn this around? It looks unlikely, but they did it at Newcastle last week. This is much harder, though. Chelsea don't look bothered. They look defeated.
This is just so poor from Chelsea, and Hazard, who is so important to them. When he's not at the races, which he hasn't been once this season, then it spells bad news.
Wow. It's boos'r'us at Stamford Bridge as Chelsea lose 3-1! Southampton, to their credit, were brilliant, but the Blues didn't half shoot themselves in the foot at times. It had a real end of an era feel to it and, simply put, I wouldn't be surprised if it was Mourinho's last game. Abramovich was in attendance!